Articles, Real Life

The Itch

Alt Title: The Patience
Alt Alt Title: The Big Break


Guys. Oprah has a new cookbook coming out in January. Often, if an influencer has a new book coming out, I will use that opportunity to reach out to his or her publicist about booking the author, their client, as a guest on The Pursuit. I have met authors on book tours in New York, backstage at speaking gigs, and even in their hotel rooms. (My videographer and myself had to hoist and move a mattress to get the shot, it was totes glamorous.)


Today people want to know, why don’t I reach out to Oprah?! By people I mostly mean my dad. My dad taught me to hustle by example. He’s received five degrees, he’s written multiple books, he has thousands of students - he’s a force to be reckoned with. He’s also one of the most optimistic people I know, and thinks that because I’ve had Tony Robbins on my show, the world is now my shining oyster. Which it is, in a way. (As always, thank you forever, Tony! ILYSM! BFFAEAE!)


Once you get some momentum towards your goal, you start to feel it. The itch. Oh, if I could just tweet to so-and-so one more time, if I could just write the perfect pitch email, if I could just make such-and-such happen, I’ll finally get my big break.


I admit, I want to scratch, y’all. I mean, some of the people I have interviewed are Oprah’s besties. They text each other. And she will do a round of publicity for her book. I am physically having to scratch the back of my neck right now.


But here’s what I’ve learned, about successful people, over and over again. They know how to be patient. Not weeks patient or months patient - we’re talking years, here. They know that there is no big break. That bears repeating.


There is no big break.


I know. It sucks. Honestly, I thought my first Tony Robbins interview was going to be my big break. He’d text all of his celebrity friends and tell them they just had to be on this new digital talk show with this fresh, talented, hilarious girl. Agents would come calling. Book deals would be made. Angels would sing.


While his stamp of approval did open major doors for me with other celebrity guests, and catapulted the Pursuit YouTube channel, my phone did not buzz. I went home from New York and got back to work at my little desk in suburbia, writing, editing video, writing, editing video. It’s been 6 months, and guess what I am doing? Writing. Editing video.


This is why it’s imperative that you must love the work itself, because you will spend your time - wait for it - working. Even if it’s your own business, work you love, your passion, your calling, it’s still work.


But the real lesson for the rest of us here is how Marie Forleo worked multiple odd jobs for over seven years before her business took off. How Glennon Doyle Melton wrote in a closet every morning for two years before her first post when viral. How Gary Vaynerchuk posted hundreds of WineLibraryTV episodes before becoming the “wine guy” in mainstream media.


If I someone told me all my dreams would come true if I could just keep my head down for two more years, or four more years, I’d say a more mature, less desperate version of TAKE MY MONEY, WHERE DO I SIGN?


So I tell me. Over and over and over again.


I made the mistake of scratching the itch in the early months of the show. Reaching out too far, too soon, and possibly cementing myself in the “rookie” category with those publicists forever. You only get one first impression. I only get one shot to reach out to Oprah’s team. I’m not even sure I could find the correct contact, because I have a feeling “you don’t reach out to Oprah, Oprah reaches out to you.” But I could try. But I’ve learned to ignore the itch. I’ve learned rushing is not worth it. Hopefully, I’ll catch her on her next book and daggum! it will have been worth it.


Ego will whisper that the itch is your big break calling. This is normal. Don’t listen. Don’t scratch.

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